problematick:

pandabibble:

(via thebunnywhoneverlikedcarrots)

himbofisher:

(via sourspaghetty)

krakenpocalypse:

anonymouscomrade:

darth–nickels:

themadmaenad:

darth–nickels:

darth–nickels:

the difference between tumblr and twitter is that pretty much everyone on tumblr needs some kind of compassionate intervention in their lives, but at a low background level. Twitter has 99% normies succumbing to internet brainrot and 1% just the most outlandish personalities you’ve ever seen. 

your average tumblr personality is a shaking dog in a Sarah McLachlan appeal, with enough time and care they can be rehabilitated and placed in a loving home. your average big-time twitter account should be sent to a prison colony on the moon

how quickly we forget our past on this site…

Friend I was here for the bone stealing witch. Even as the sun and moon hid their eyes and averted their gaze I saw the witch walk without fear of the laws of God nor man and steal those bones and sell them on etsy. The amputated toe. The breast milk jewelry. A man who against any law of heaven desires to own another human as a pet reblogged my star wars discourse posts. You want to talk about racefaking cannibal mermaids?? Bah! How many kickstarter scams for cartoons that sounded unbearably twee have come and gone? How many stars risen and fallen? I remember when this site had a sizable userbase of meth enthusiast who just posted aesthic shots of their stash and rigs. Where are those crank aficionados now? Gone like so many others. And yet I remain! 

And when I tell you that twitter is worse than any of that you should heed my words!! 

#DO NOT CITE THE DEEP MAGIC TO ME WITCH#I WAS THERE WHEN IT WAS WRITTEN

Tumblr is a former battlefield that’s now turned into a haunted moor. Twitter is an active war zone.

(via parlezvousladybug)

tundrakatiebean:

krudman:

rimpyspinkeye:

(via daughter-of-ophelia)

beardedmrbean:

biverly-switzler:

I’ve never watched a single episode of spn but I’ve been thinking about the implications of being stuck inside a meme

(via evileah)

annabelle–cane:

ALT

astraltrickster:

Dear tumblr newbies of #196:

ALT

(via simple-sheep)

flork-of-cows-unofficially:

flork-of-cows-unofficially:

flork-of-cows-unofficially:

melatonin

(via tarakau)

marlynnofmany:

wyomingnot:

entheognosis:

“The oldest olive tree in the world located on the island of Crete. It is estimated to be as over 3,000 years old and still produces olives.”

—

gotta share @telesilla’s tags -

#that was (give or take) around the time of the bronze age collapse #crete was no longer a major player #and the known world was kinda in turmoil #and yet someone planted an olive tree #i’m not saying there’s a direct parallel #but you know…systemic collapse thanks to many things including climate change #and it sucked for a lot of people #but they still needed olive oil #and idk man…maybe plant a tree #because the world has ended so many times #but the tree is still here #and so are we

the world has ended so many times
but the tree is still here
and so are we

(via wheatforme)

ashisdeadanddying:

You’re all gonna love this one

beardedmrbean:

beardedmrbean:

Well then, thanks Apollo.

(via the-furry-butler)

haystarlight:

Hey guys, if the people in the submarine die, who gets the money? Do they have children or wills or….?

18-40% goes to the gov in the form of the Death Tax (tax on estate.

The rest may be fought over by survivng family. Which means lengthy legal litigation. Which means the lawyers can have a little bit, as a treat.

parlezvousladybug:

electrificata:

electrificata:

wine for idiots

WHITE WINE

if you want to make a wine person very unhappy, say that a white wine they like “is giving me a little green bell pepper?”

RED WINE

honestly the only two questions you need to start credibly talking about red wine are “does it taste like red fruits (strawberry/cherry/raspberry) or black fruits (blackberry/plum)?” and “does it taste oaky (i.e. gently sweet and earthy in a way youd associate with coffee or chocolate or warming spices)

if its a fancy dry wine (not a dessert wine, not port, manischewitz or markovic) dont say "sweet,” say “juicy”

FIZZY WINE

if its red and fizzy its probably a lambrusco

if youre drinking champagne talk about the “minerality,” even chalk notes if youre feeling gutsy. you dont have to taste it just say it

ORANGE WINE

this is very trendy. youre gonna want to talk about its “funkiness.” if you use the term “gym socks” at the right time you will get a round of laughs or at least knowing nods. if you see shmutz in the bottom dont worry about it.

MISC

if you want a wine person to talk for a while and not ask you any questions just ask them how they feel about natural wine. theyll go on for a little and you can decide to agree or disagree based on how hot they are

i dont think anyone should know anything

😂